i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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