Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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