yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
