just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
