Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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