Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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