And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
