she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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