love makes seman taste better
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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