its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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