It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
