so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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