If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
