Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize