why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I touched a dick in church today
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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