ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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