my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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