Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
