I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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