i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
