@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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