I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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