Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
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I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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