Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
