Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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