I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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