If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
