Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
