I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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