Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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