I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
