well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
