I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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