There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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