ya dads aren't the best wingmen
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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