You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
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He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
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I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
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