Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
