eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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