Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize