Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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