I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
