I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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