You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
