i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
