I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
