Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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