She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
