He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
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He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
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When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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