is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
