rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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