at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Randomize
