He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
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you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
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You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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