I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
oh god the rape fog is back!
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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