Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
