You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
then he tried to convert me to islam
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
