if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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