I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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