Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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