i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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